The Compass of Discernment: The Art of Finding Your Growth Edge

Jonathan Reams

The “Big Idea” Summary

A vague learning goal creates a “fuzzy” predictive model that cannot detect error; to trigger the brain’s natural learning cycle, we must move from abstract “shoulds” to specific, behaviorally observable “musts” that create a high-fidelity signal for growth.

We have all been there. It’s New Year’s Day, or perhaps the end of a yearly performance review. We sit down with a fresh notebook and write: “This year, I want to be a more strategic leader.” Or perhaps, “I want to improve my executive presence.”

It feels good to write it down. It feels responsible. It feels like we are taking charge.

But fast forward three months. Has anything changed? Usually, the answer is not so much. The notebook is buried under a pile of urgent papers, and we are back to reacting to emails and putting out fires, just as we were before.

Why does this happen? Is it a lack of discipline? A lack of willpower?

I don’t think so. I think it is a technical failure of the signal-to-noise ratio.

In our previous exploration of the neuroscience of learning, we discussed the brain as a prediction machine. It learns by creating multiple models of the world, placing a bet on one model, acting on it, and then updating the modeling algorithm based on “prediction errors,” the moments where reality clashes with our expectations.

Here is the catch: You cannot perceive an error if your prediction is fuzzy.

If your goal is to “be more strategic,” what does that look like on a Tuesday morning at 9:00 AM? It is too abstract, too broad. Because the goal is vague, your brain cannot generate a specific enough prediction about what should happen. Then there is no clear mismatch when you fail to do whatever it might be. There is no signal error. There is only noise.

To turn the learning engine on, we need to move from fuzzy good intentions to high-fidelity signals. We need a compass heading and a next step, not merely a wish to be “elsewhere.”

The Bricoleur’s Approach to Discernment

Finding this compass heading isn’t a technical exercise. It isn’t about picking a competency off a generic HR menu. It is a messy, human process of discernment.

When I work with clients, whether in deep 1-on-1 coaching or designing digital tools for multiple users, the core task is the same. We are trying to find what is “alive” for the learner. We act as bricoleurs, sorting through the noise of their current modeling of challenges to find the signal that matters.

This involves a specific kind of listening. We are helping the learner make connections to their existing understanding of a skill. Remember, a skill isn’t a packet of information you download; it is the capacity to control elements of thinking, feeling, and acting within a specific context.

Finding the right elements, at the right scale, that are on your ‘growth edge,’ is about breaking down these fuzzy goals. They are fuzzy because we tend to get caught up in popular intellectual abstractions (we should be a transformational leader) that are loaded with highly chunked and implicit meaning. While they might resonate with us, they are seldom at a level of granularity right for us.

To find the signal through the noise, we have to start with what is already clear to you. We have to find the hook in your existing web of experience where the new skill can develop from. 

This is described in various ways, for example the ‘zone of proximal development’ or in a more colloquial version, the ‘Goldilocks Zone.’ Put simply, it is a skill just on the edge of our capability, in our peripheral vision so to speak. It is recognizable, yet difficult to bring into focus and do on our own.

Situating the Skill in Context

This brings us back to the “Weather.”

Often, when I ask a leader for their learning goal, they give me a “socialized” answer. They say, “I need to be better at networking,” because they think that’s what a leader should do. They have a vague hope that learning this will solve some difficult problems for them. Their brain is anticipating the expectations created by the “stormy weather” of their leaders. They are navigating the corporate culture—and trying to armor up against it.

But a goal born from “should” rarely survives. It is an external imposition, not an internal drive. The emotions associated with armoring up are grounded in fears of … you name it. The curiosity needed to learn isn’t anywhere to be found.

To find a robust goal, we need to situate the skill in your specific context. We ask:

• Where does the need for this skill show up in your work?

• Can you identify specific meetings, conversations, or decisions that elicit the need for this skill?

• What happens when you don’t use it?

We are looking for the specific conditions that trigger the need for growth. We are moving from the abstract concept of “networking” to the concrete reality of “I freeze up when I have to make small talk with the VP of Finance.”

This more granular and situated need for a skill situates it in a tangible context you can work with.

The Emotional Anchor: Finding the “Will”

Once we have a direction and a context, we need the fuel. A learning goal only functions if it has salience. It must have contextual relevance and emotional resonance.

The brain is an efficiency machine, with the primary job of ensuring our survival. A key part of this is maintaining our body’s energy budget. The brain will not expend energy rewiring its prediction models unless it sees a compelling reason to do so. If the goal is just a “nice to have,” the brain will lose the signal and filter it out as noise the moment pressure rises.

We need to move from “should” to ‘will.”

How do we find the “will”? We look for energy. Often, this energy shows up as frustration. In our design work, we sometimes jokingly refer to the “NBC” energy—Nagging, Bitching, and Complaining.

When a leader is complaining about their team, or nagging themselves about a failure, or bitching about a recurring problem—that is not just negativity. That is signal. It is a sign that something matters to them. It is a sign that the current internal model or core values are clashing with reality, and it hurts.

Our job is to take that frustration, make the Aikido move and transmute it. We take the energy of “I am so sick of my team not taking initiative” and flip it into a learning goal: “I will learn how to signal safety, so my team feels empowered to speak up.”

Saying will rather than should sets a tone that gives the brain a plan with purpose and intention. It has more signal and less noise. 

A Design Checklist for Your Goal

So, how do you craft this for yourself? Whether you are building a Learning Loop for a specific leadership challenge or just trying to get better at a hobby, run your goal through this calibration checklist:

1. Is it Clear and Specific?
Move from broad and general, like “communication skills,” to something more specific, like “asking clarifying questions.” Narrow the focus until it feels almost too small. The smaller the target, the clearer the error signal.

2. Is it Behaviorally Expressed?
What would a video camera see you doing? Instead of “understand my team better,” try “spend the first 5 minutes of the meeting asking open-ended questions.” We need observable behaviors, not just internal states.

3. Is it Observable?
How will you know if you did it? Is there tangible evidence of impact? A change in the room? A different response from a colleague? We need data points to feed the reflection process that comes later.

Setting the Stage

By doing this work—by moving from fuzzy intentions to a specific, context-rich, emotionally salient goal—we are setting our compass. We are telling the brain’s prediction engine exactly what to look for.

But knowing what we want to do is only the first step. To actually do it—to bridge the gap between our intention and our action—we need to be able to see deeper into the building blocks and nuances of the skill itself. We need to see the gears inside the machine.

In the next essay, we will explore Step 2: Making Distinctions. We will look at how to use the “Art of Making Distinctions” to help you connect to more granular skill components you already have at hand or can try out easily. We also use this step to explore differences in how a given skill might show up in different contexts.

The Reflection Loop

1. Audit Your Goals: Look at your current development goals. Do they feel like “shoulds” (external pressure) or “wills” (internal desire)? Which ones have energy?

2. Find the Frustration: What is one thing in your work week that consistently annoys or frustrates you? If you treated that frustration as a signal, what learning goal might be hiding underneath it?

3. Sharpen the Signal: Take one vague intention (“Be more present”) and translate it into a specific behavior (“Put my phone in the drawer during the 10am stand-up”). Notice how that changes your ability to predict whether you will succeed or fail.